Thoughtful Thursday

Pray as though everything depends on God. Work as though everything depends on you.
~St. Augustine

You can do more than pray after you have prayed; but you can never do more than pray until you have prayed.
~A.J. Gordon

Thoughtful Thursday

The Lord will work out his plans for my life—
for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever.
Don’t abandon me, for you made me.

~Psalm 138:8 (NLT)

Do Not Be Frightened

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

~Joshua 1:9

Thoughtful Thursday

For since the beginning of the world
Men have not heard nor perceived by the ear,
Nor has the eye seen any God besides You,
Who acts for the one who waits for Him.

~Isaiah 64:4

Thoughtful Thursday

O give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever.
Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy;

~Psalm 107:1-2 (KJV)

A Journey of Love

In my last series post I shared the story of the beginning of our journey into the world of foster/adoption and ended the post with the arrival of our first placement. This is where the story gets tricky because I want more than anything to tell you all about our foster baby and post a million pictures, but unfortunately I can't. What I can tell you is that we couldn't have asked for a sweeter baby or a better first experience. This little guy was 8 months old when he came to stay with us and was the cutest, most charming little guy.  Most of my readers had the pleasure of meeting him at least once and he won over everyone he met with his big brown eyes and easy smile.  He was one of the happiest most content babies, and he stole our hearts in a matter of days.

When you go into foster care the first thing everyone says when they find out is, "Oh, I could never do that. I would get so attached, and it would be so hard when they leave." I completely agree with this and I knew, even before our first placement, that I would get attached (in fact they tell you that in training) and that saying goodbye would be hard, but I thought that it would be different with a foster child because they weren't 'mine,' and that that would somehow make things a little easier (I was completely wrong on that assumption, by the way). So to those people who say they could never do that I say, "Neither can I, at least not on my own, but with God all things are possible. And in the end, what it really boils down to is, its not about me."

I will never forget the moment I admitted to myself that I loved him, and I don't mean the kind of love we, as Christians, are to have for all people, or the kind we have for our friends or family. I mean the kind of love I have for my own children, my flesh and blood.  The unconditional, I will do anything to protect you, will always love you, can't imagine life before I knew you, kind of love. The kind of love that envelops your whole heart. The kind of love that hurts, that grabs hold and won't let go. The kind of love you can't imagine until you look into the eyes of your newborn baby. When you love a child they are yours in your heart regardless of biology, laws, and technicalities. I tried to protect my heart and remind myself that this was temporary and that he would be leaving one day, but love isn't something you can control, stop, or turn on and off (and would I really want to even if I could?).

It was the third day he was with us and I had given him a bottle and was rocking him.  He looked at me with those sweet trusting eyes and then he laid his head on my shoulder and fell asleep, and that was it.  I was done in.  He captured my heart as only a baby can.  He got to me, got down into my mom heart where that kind of love is and it was all over for me. I remember sitting there rocking him and crying out to God, "Lord help me, I love him. How am I ever going to let him go?," and tears came to my eyes. Tears because I was scared and I knew that from that day on my heart was open and vulnerable, and that there was nothing I could do, and it was at that moment that God spoke right to my heart and said, "Give him to Me." That simple, but in so many ways not simple at all and I cried harder. I cried because I knew God had given me those four small words, and because even with that whisper from Him it was still so hard. I knew it was His voice because before we ever got that first call when someone would ask me how I would ever be able to give a child back I would remind myself over and over that, in the end, our children don't truly belong to us - they belong to God and He gives them to us for a time; they are a gift.

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. Psalm 127:3 (NLT)

And I love the Message translation of the same verse:
Don't you see that children are God's best gift? the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?

Our foster baby was with us for eight weeks to the day, and then we had to say goodbye....but that is another post.

To be continued....

Thoughtful Thursday

But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.

~James 1:22